Wendy screams 'DRINKO!'
And Laurie, aka The Tequila Fairy, comes a-running, a 40-pounder of El Destilador Reposado held triumphantly over her head.
Wendy knows the drill.
She laughs, tips her head back, opens wide and The Tequila Fairy -- with an exaggerated look of shock -- pours a shot of Mexico's amber-hued national liquor directly down Wendy's throat.
The Tequila Fairy mops up a dribble at the side of Wendy's mouth with her shirt sleeve and spirits away to the next 'DRINKO' shout.
This is 'Gringo Bingo' at Eddie's Bad Ass Tequila Tacos & Beer in downtown San Jose del Cabo.
My wife, Kerry, and I have joined the crowd as Gringo Bingo virgins.
We're not particularly lucky bingo players, but we can take tequila shots along with the best of them.
I must admit, it was the name Drinko Bingo that immediately caught my attention and ultimately convinced us that we simply had to have this experience.
Notice how 'drinko' conveniently rhymes with both 'bingo' and 'gringo' -- the slang Mexicans use (both affectionately and derogatorily) to describe white people.
Bingo with an hilarious twist
It's Saturday afternoon at this dive bar and the gringos have gathered for the weekly dose of bingo with a hilarious twist.
For a 200 peso buy-in (about $17.60 Canadian) they get a bingo card and a choice of a margarita (Mexico's and the world's favourite cocktail) or two cans of Pacifico beer.
Proprietor Eduardo 'Fast Eddie' Buenrostro, explains the rules and will be calling the games himself.
Fast Eddie has shown up in his finest for the occasion - freshly-shaved head, tattoos, sunglasses and a t-shirt sporting a graphic of a skeleton riding a motorcycle.
Fast Eddie announces he'll be saying some cuss words, that he'll be outrageously politically incorrect and that if you look like you should be picked on, he'll pick on you.
Thus, the chubby guy is told it looks like he never misses a meal and should be able to soak up a lot of tequila.
Fast Eddie also declared he'll treat us like he treats his grandkids -- getting us all wound up and then sending us home.
If anyone yells 'DRINKO!' three or more times, they will become a VIP -- very intoxicated person.
Fast Eddie loves Canadians and observes that even when The Tequila Fairy makes a mess giving us a shot, we say 'sorry'.
If you get a full line on your bingo card -- horizontally, vertically or diagonally -- you yell 'DRINKO!' and The Tequila Fairy arrives out of nowhere to administer your shot.
In a single nod to political correctness, you can refuse the shot if you're driving or watching your tequila intake or designate a willing fellow bingo player to take the shot on your behalf.
Eddie's Gringo Bingo Hall of Shame
By the way, there's Eddie's Gringo Bingo Hall of Shame -- a collection of photos of bingo players who've taken the sloppiest shots.
Fast Eddie says 'DRINKO!' is an honour system, so he won't be checking the numbers of your bingo line.
But, if you officially shout 'BINGO!' when every number on your card has been called, it will be checked.
After all, the winner's prize pot for this game is 3,200 pesos -- about $253 Canadian.
The victor in this case is Maureen Mullin from Langley, British Columbia.
"Oh yes, we spend all winter in Cabo and come every Saturday to Gringo Bingo," she said.
"And this is the first pot I've ever won. I love it because it's not your normal bingo."
Generally, Eddie's fills up every Saturday afternoon for Gringo Bingo typically with Canadians and Americans who are on long-stay winter vacations in Cabo.
But, even if you're only in Cabo for a one-week holiday, it's worth it to drop by Gringo Bingo for a couple of hours of excitement.
Similar chuckles can be had on Tuesday nights at Eddie's Tequila Karaoke.
A chat with Fast Eddie is also enlightening.
Formerly homeless, he got his act together and became an entrepreneur.
His little empire in San Jose del Cabo includes not just the concrete floor, no walls and palapa-roof bar and restaurant, but a tattoo parlour, jewelry design and custom car garage.
"I just want people to come to Mexico and have fun," said Fast Eddie.
"And it looks like you've been having fun here today."
